I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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