have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
