i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
