Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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