Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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