But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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