I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
