They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
