i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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