I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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