Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
