They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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