And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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