Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
