I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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