dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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