Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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