so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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