tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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