Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
