Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
