It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
