Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
