your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
