I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
