we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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