I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
