You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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