wat bout pragnant strippers??
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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