Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
