Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
