Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
