I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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