I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
