Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
