Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You smell like stripper and shame
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
