I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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