please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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