His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
