Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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