He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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