but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
