I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
