People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
