why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
3pm strippers are depressing
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
