Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just saw a hot homeless man
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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