He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
