Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Blood and glitter go together right?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
