I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
