No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
