Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
