where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
